Monday, October 10, 2011
A couple of months ago - this summer - I felt like my life was breaking apart (and it was). Most days I would pull into the parking garage at my office and I would spend 5 - 30 (yes, 30!) minutes in my car trying to talk myself into walking into the building.
On this particular day, I couldn't even make it into the garage. I pulled into the Visitor Parking in front of the building. I was just sitting there, staring at the wall, trying to muster up the will and the energy to do what I needed to do. I admit that I was wallowing a bit, but I was desperate.
I started praying for a sign - any sign. (In case you weren't aware, I'm a big fan of signs.) But I needed it right this minute - something to show me that everything was going to be ok - and I needed it before I was late for my first meeting.
As I sat there telling myself not to be so dramatic while begging for a sign, my little friend here landed on the sign that was right in front of me! (Brave Girls out there you know the symbolism of the bird.) And this little truth teller just sat there looking at me.
It was like he was looking at me and saying "You need a sign? Seriously?! HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?! Read the sign... duh!" Of course it was going to be ok, it always is. I just had to visit this place, for this time, to learn these lessons, but it would not be forever. I finally saw the sign that was right in front of me.
Things are still a bit shaky, but they are getting better. I didn't want to go into that horrible place any more, and now I don't have to. I've been given the opportunity to find a place where I want to be and where I feel welcome.
Today, I have traveled halfway across the country on my search for that place. Maybe this is the one, maybe it's not... but I'm sure that if I look closely I will see the signs I need.