I've intended to write this post for the past TWO months, but I'm running a little late. Do you sense a pattern???
Anyway, early in January, it seemed like everyone out there in blog-land was talking about finding ONE word to set the tone for the coming year. At first, I kept thinking why would you limit your year with just one word?? It was overwhelming to think of all the words, all the possibilities, all the limitations associated with this idea. But every time I'd think that and try to dismiss the idea, one little word would whisper in my ear: heal.
I'd hear it. I'd acknowledge it. I'd dismiss it. After all, if you are going to focus your year on one word, shouldn't it be more dynamic, more positive, more "doing", more motivational, more spectacular, more visible, more...impressive? But that word kept whispering, and I'm telling ya, it sounded like a place I wanted to go and curl up for awhile (maybe for a....year).
So, here I am, two months in, crawling into my word for this year. (BTW - March is my birthday month, so I can very easily rationalize that this month is the beginning of my new year, and not only am I not late, I'm early because I have almost 3 weeks left 'til I start my new b-day year.)
The past couple of years have been pretty crapilicious. I have been surviving. Getting through each day was an effort, and thinking about getting up and doing it again the next day was overwhelming. I don't want to live my life in survival mode. Some things have improved, but many remain the same. I know that until the situations that are out of my control change, all I can do is change my response, pick up the pieces, apply the lesson's I've learned, and prepare for all the good stuff that's gotta be heading my way. (Can I get an Amen?)
Frankly, I'm not ready for the good stuff. If it showed up today, I wouldn't be able to fully appreciate it because I am too blinded by all the yuck. To be able to hug all of that goodness to me, first I need to spend time recovering from the beating that has been the last few years.
ALL wounds heal, but there are things we can do speed the process. I need lots of stillness and contemplation. I need water and sunshine (best I can tell, they cure pretty much everything). I also need some action. I was concerned about there not being enough "DOING" associated with this word, but I think it may end up that I have to work harder and do more to heal than I would have for any other word I could have chosen.
I've started this journey: my trip to BGC and my new commitment to doing something creative on a regular basis, have made an amazing difference in my outlook already. Now, the other 'sick' areas of my life deserve a similar focus and commitment (either that, or some serious medicine-man ju-ju). Since we're short on ju-ju in these parts, I guess that means I must DO all those things necessary to heal my mind, my body, my spirit, and my situation.
So, here goes - let the healin' begin!
Maybe next year, I'll focus on the word TIMELY....or, probably not.